I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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