Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
