Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
