I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Come share oat with me in your robe
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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