Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
