She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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