Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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