Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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