I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
