Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
