your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
