I faked an abortion last night.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
