I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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