I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
