So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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