things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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