I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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