Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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