I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
