O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
