so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
