were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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