You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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