Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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