two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
