So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
