The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
