I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
