At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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