i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Please don't give away my fajitas
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