Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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