trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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