Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
