Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
