I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
