She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
