Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
