I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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