What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
