why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
