The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
