he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The air taste purple.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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