I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
