just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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