Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I supernannyed him into submission
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
