id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
