I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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