Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
