you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
