Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
